You can't say you've seen it all...

Why do I this..? Why do I turn your day around when all I ask for is to make each day of yours better than mine? Bear with me here.. Why I can’t shake this demon I don’t know! Im fighting it harder than I’ve ever fought yet its reoccurring.. All I can say is, as I grow older, my heart grows fonder.. Fond enough to perfect the art of loving you.. Yes im an insecure teenager with acne that gives myself the run for my money each day but im also a deeply passionate man with enough knowledge and curiosity to last a life time! Maybe I can turn our day around and make you the happiest girl on all of the school… or maybe the earth!? I will always live with no regrets when it comes down to the decisions put before me involving you and im going to give you the biggest hug! All i know is im going to try, try and wish this demon away, try and wish you the life you want to live! Try and be theman by your side through it all! Try or die trying… Don’t ever forget that i love you! 12:43

Its 11:17 as I write this and I can’t sleep… YOU are on my mind and so is the opportunity I was just given, which I still can’t fathom.. You, my baby, know exactly what im talking about.. I mean c’mon, one of the biggest nights I’ve had for personal gain in a lifetime and your not here sharing the night with me?!? Man.. Life isn’t fair….. Im to excited to see you tomorrow and im to sad when I look to my right and i don’t see you…. Fuck, im horny too. Well tomorrow there’s no stopping my PDA because i just don’t care!! Golly! do i love you Carly Ann Bloom

No this is not a post about baseball… it’s a post about you, the person that goes un-named becuase of the sensation i get once/if? you read this… I know you’re having fun and it hasn’t been because of me lately… In my head i think about OUR possobilities but i store them away for fear of ambition and losing you, yet they all scream at me to come out.. I keep them down.. I’m a human/man/boy …that dreams, and i won’t ever stop dreaming. The fact is that i look up to you, i admire you, i am absolutely infactuated with the fact that you can be presented with a situation and come out stronger and more determined than before. I know that’s hard to wrap your head around and it’s a litte weird but god do i think it’s cool..!

I hold on to every word you’ve said solely because of the significance you have on my life. It’s a fact, the importance and prestige i feel like i’ve acheived learning through you has left me aw-struck and feeling incredibly lucky. A big time athletic figure once said, ” if you have married a woman, the love of your life, the ONE person you so incredibly love with all your heart, would you let one moment go without i saying i love you? And have her question the impact she’s had on every moment of your life? NO! That’s the way i want to live my life, not let one moment pass.” That’s more than an explanation, am i too excessive? Do i try and implement your mark on my life to much? Maybe, maybe not.. It’s a part of me that i will let leak out however it feels. And i take pride in the confidence i feel towards that aspect of my life.

What if you were in my head? What if you feel everything i feel? And i the same in your’s.. Would we understand eachother more or feel intruding upon the sacred subject that is the mind. The mind works in odd, dis-functional ways, and i love it. I don’t care to know why but would i like to know how to set up a god damn border patrol and let the bad thoughts be sent back home and let the ever-flowing, wonderful, fascinating thoughts pass and settle in my head? God yes….. Maybe it’s achievable, could it be not? I don’t care to know the answer because isn’t that the whole meaning? What i’d like to reiderate here is the fact that for as many times i feel down there’s always a superb thought waiting to break through and beat the shit out of the bad one that somehow beat the system.

I can smell you right now, i can almost get the exact taste, but nothing beats you. Nobody is better, funnier, smarter, kinder (dunno if that’s a word) and more beautiful. No one can understand you the way i do, it’s a type of connection i felt like i needed to keep and NOT take for granted the night i met you. Won’t you read this and sprint over to me? Can i call you and tell you how much i love you at all hours of the day without having the faculty shit on me? I can gurantee no human being can feel the way i feel towards you because not only do i have the love of God on my side, i have the love of life with me. If you love life what can go wrong? Darling you love life, and you love everything about it, the so called “evils” in this world are temporary, yet the forever standing and never breaking “good” in this world are described as “immortal”. My love for you has no end, it doesn’t stop at a certain point nor does it have it a beginning.. Now that’s a concept no one comprehend, how does something with no end have no beginning? Simple conclusion: Don’t Worry. Things fall into there places every second of the day and the night.

Life is such a gift no one really understands the aspect of it in there day-to-day lives. It’s been handed down to us at no cost..What we will do with it? That’s for you and i and the rest of the world to decide, but it’s a decision i’d like to make with you right by my side.. Breathing down on my neck with your soft, warm breath, encouraging me to stop comparing myself to others, stop feeling insecure, stop worrying about how to be PERFECT, yet perfection is what we strive for. To live the PERFECT lives, based on our beliefs and reasoning. PERFECT is different for each and every individual so stop trying to be a perfectionist ME! Live your life in a way each pair of eyes you come across in this humungous world would say, “wow”. That’s my question to you, make this choice with me, stand closer than ever before, kiss with more passion, hug with more intensity and love, smile with more jubilance and vigor than ever…..before..!!

Yes i’m 5’10” in cleats and yes this post had nothing to do with baseball, my height or my shoes. Yet it did have an impact on me, maybe you? Why don’t we let life decide while we go forward. Don’t ever lose sight of how much i love you, no matter what. My doubts are being swept off the old back porch as my confidence and blithe attitude moves in, will you let me move back in and start making you smile again? There’s no way i’m ever going to let you down again, it’s a place once gone before never again. Thank you.

(: